Yu-Gi-Oh! Bonds Beyond Time Abridged/Transcript
Bonds Beyond Time Abridged Movie Cast (In order of appearance): Yugi, Joey, Téa, Tristan, Crow, Jack, Yusei, Kalin, Jaden, Paradox, Akiza, Luna, Leo, Yubel, professor Banner, Granpa, Pegasus, Marik, Pharaoh, Yuma, Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From The Future, Seto. Date: November 6, 2011 Running Time: 35:54 Episode Title: Bonds Beyond Time Abridged Movie Transcript Part 1 of 3 (Lucas Film THX logo with Joey Wheeler Nyehing along with it) (Subtitle reads "The Audience is from Brooklyn") Yugi Muto, Joey, Téa, Tristan: It's a groovy time for a movie time. So grab your gal. And grab a seat. But don't forget to get something to eat. Delicious meat. A nutritious meat. Joey: You can't beat my meat for a special treat. Triston: Sucking on me is really neat! Yugi, Joey, Téa, Tristan: Don't be a jerk, and don't be a fool. Be a good neighbor and follow these rules. (ambiant noises) Yugi, Joey, Téa, Tristan: What are these rules? Remember to keep your shoes on at all times. Don't pull your penis out unless you really need to. Indecent exposure is a Class 2 felony. (Yusei headbutts Yugi) Yusei, Jack, Crow, Kalin: Don't talk! Watch! Don't talk! Watch! You came here! Watch it! Don't like it? Walk out! We still have all your f***ing money! Do not nudge, kick, or jiggle the seat in front of you! I am sitting there! I am everywhere at once, and I will cut you up if you make out here! I will cut your lips and tongue from your head with a linoleum knife! (Yugi, Joey, Téa, Tristan flee) Yusei, Jack, Crow, Kalin: Do not explain the plot! If you don't understand you should not be here! Your money is now our money and we will spend it on drugs! Yusei: If I see you video-taping this movie Satan will rain down your throat with hot acid and dissolve your testicals and turn your guts into snakes! (Kalin growls) Yusei: This is a copyrighted movie from Time Warner. If I find you sold it on eBay I will break into your house and tear your wife in half! (Movie starts) Yusei: Jack. Jack: Yusei! Yusei: There's something you should know. Jack: What is it, Yusei? Yusei: Card games on motorcycles. (silence) Jack: What? Yusei: I said, card games on motorcycles. Jack: I beg your pardon? Yusei: I said, card games on motorcycles! Jack: What the hell is a motorcycle? Yusei: You're kidding right? Jack: Hey Crow! Do you have any idea what a motorcycle is? Crow: Can't say that I do Jack. Jack: Yeah, we don't know what that is. Yusei: But we ride them all the time. It's our trademark. Jack: Why would we do that? Yusei: So that we can play card games on them. Jack: That sounds stupid. Yusei: Jack, you're scaring me. Jack: Come on Crow, let's go play a card game, while standing completely still. On. The. Ground. Yusei: Noooo! (Yusei wakes up) Yusei: Oh thank God! (credits) Jaden: Yeah! Ah! (Venice, Italy: The Not Too Distant Future) Jaden: I'm Batman! Woah! (Rapping) Yall gona make me get my game on! Up in here! Up in here! Yo don't make me throw a face-down! Up in here! Up in here! (No longer rapping) Well it's a good thing I play a lot of Assassin's Creed! a Huh? Okay pal you obviusly don't know who I am. The name's Jaden Yuki! And I'm absolutely flawless! Oh how about a little help Neos? (neo's deflects an atack) It's a good thing Venice is apperently empty or that might have been kind of dangerous. Paradox: Pwotagonist! Jaden: No, it's Jaden. Paradox: I am here for the one who destwoyed the future. Jaden: Look there must be some kind of mistake. I'm Jaden Yuki. Paradox: Yes, that is right. Jaden: But I'm harmless! I couldn't destroy anything! Paradox: Cowection! I think you will find you destwoyed Yu-Gi-Oh!'s cwedability. And now I am going to destroy you with my Mawefic monsters. Hahaha! Hahahahaha! Hahaha! Hahahahaha! (Neo Domino: The Way Too Distant Future) Yusei: (sigh) It's times like this that I just like to stand here and enjoy the peaceful serenity of a beautiful spring morni- Jack: Yuuuussssei! Yusei: What? Jack: Hi. Yusei: Hello Jack. Crow: Hey Yusei, can you settle a bet? Yusei: What bet? Crow: Is it gay to like the movie Top Gun? Jack: It's totally not. Crow: Shut-up Jack. Let Yusei decide. Jack: Okay. Yusei: Well- Jack: That it's not gay. Yusei: Well obviously it's not. Jack: See! Yusei: How could a movie where the male protaganists call each other cute nicknames, and play volleyball, and ride their phallic vehicles at extremely high speeds be anything but straight? Crow: I dunno. Still seems kind of gay to me. Jack: Now that that's settled, let's go ride our motorcycles and play some half naked volleyball. Yusei: You can be my wingman anytime Jack. Jack: No Yusei, you can be mine.(begins siging) Dododo. Highway to the danger zone! Yeah! Gonna take you riding! Oh my God, this is so straight you guys! Paradox: Pwotagonist! Yusei: Wait! Who's that? Jack: I dunno! But his hair is beautiful! Ooooh! Yusei: Jack! Look out! Jack: Crow! Look out! Crow: Wario! Look out! Wario: Imma going to win! Paradox: I have you now Pwotagonist! Ahaha! Ahahahaha! Ahaha! Ahahahaha! (his D-Wheel skids the highway) I don't know why I did that. Seems kind of dangerous actually. Jack: Yusei! Show him your junk! Yusei: What? Jack: Warrior! Show him your Junk Warrior! Yusei: I've got a better idea. Come on out Stardust Dragon! Jack: Okay now whip out your junk and wave it at him! Yusei: What? Jack: Warrior! Paradox: And now, Pwotagonist, watch as I turn your favowite monster into a cwappy 3D effect! Ahaha! Ahahahaha! Ahaha! Ahahahaha! Martin Billany's voice: We at Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged would like to apologize for the lack of 3D content in this movie. However, we would like to think this is totally justified since 3D is bull**** and adds absolutely nothing to cinema experience so please enjoy your 2D movie becuase it's cheaper and much less obnoxious. Paradox: Ahaha! Ahahahaha! Ahaha! Ahahahaha! Yusei: I totally won that duel. (later) Jack: Yusei! That guy stole your Stardust Dragon card! What a dick! I know I did it in season one but...uh...I...uh...he's a dick! Crow: Why did he even take your card in the first place? Yusei: Probably to humiliate me in front of my girlfriend. Akiza: Oh don't be silly Yusei! You know I'd never be embarrassed- Yusei: For the last time! I am dating a motorcycle! Akiza: But why date a motorcycle when you can have me? Yusei: Tell her Jack. Jack: Girls are smelly. Yusei: He's right they are. Akiza: Well I think motorcycles are smelly! Yusei: Get out. Akiza: Bu- Yusei: Get. Out. Luna: Lion-O! Check out what we found on the Internet. Snarf! Snarf! Yusei: "And then Jack turned to Yusei and said come over here and kick my engines into overdrive." Luna: Here Snarf! The other page Lion-O! Snarf! Snarf! Crow: Isn't that Pegasus the creator of Duel Monster! Yeah, and next to him is Yugi Muto the King of Card Games! Yusei: What the hell is wrong with his hair? Jack: Yugi Muto? He was the greatest Duelist who ever lived. Yusei: It says here that he died a virgin and his last words were "Oh God, I've wasted my life". Jack: Greatest Duelist who ever lived. I love him. Crow: It also says that dragons appeared and destroyed most of Europe ten years ago...what? Yusei: Wait. Look! It's him! Jack: You found Waldo? Yusei: It's the guy who stold my card! Jack: Waldo stold your card?! Yusei: Jack. Jack: Yusei! Yusei: No. Jack: Kay! Crow: There's only one explanation for this. He must have travelled through time to steal Yusei's card so he could go back to the past and wreak havoc on the world. Jack: Wow Crow! How did you figure that out? Crow: It's all right here in his Wikipedia article. Yusei: Well if it's on the Internet it must be true. Akiza: Look! Outside! Jack: Yay! It's snowing! No school for us today! Yusei: I don't think that's snow Jack. The world seems to be disintegrating around us. (outside) Jack: I'm going to build a snowman! Akiza: Hay! I have a tramp stamp just like that. Yusei: Strange! I can feel the Crimson Dragon calling to me. Crimson Dragon: Atreyu! Yusei: What is it, Crimson Dragon? Crimson Dragon: You must follow me into the past. Yusei: Wait, since when could you travel through time? Crimson Dragon: Since like, forever. Kind of big deal. Yusei: In that case can you take me back in time to see my parents? Crimson Dragon: No. That would be a lame use of my powers. Remember, once you hit eighty-eight miles per hour- Yusei: I'm going to see some serious sh*t? Crimson Dragon: No. You'll be violating the speed limit. So do try to drive slower than that. Yusei: I must drive to the past to save the future and my friends. Jack: Bye Yusei! Don't eat the yellow snow! It's pee! (GX time) Paradox: Ahaha! Ahahahaha! Any last words before I destwoy you and take your wawest monster, Mr. Pwotagonist? Jaden: I keep telling you my name is Jaden! Paradox: Mawefic Stardust Dwagon show him the true power of Paradox! Jaden: Okay! That tears it! Venice sucks! Next year I'm vacationing in Germany! Nothing bad ever happens there! Paradox: Stardust here is your chance to for an all-out attack. Jaden: Mother. Crimson Dragon: Atreyu! Yusei: Paradox. Paradox: Pwotagonist? Yusei: I came- Paradox: What? Yusei: -to the past. Paradox: Oh. Yusei: But I also had an orgasm. Paradox: Ew! Jaden: Ha! Nice! Paradox: But how? How did you follow me back in time? Yusei: I don't know. Jaden: Damn son that is one awesome motorbike you're- Yusei: You're not riding it. Jaden: Worth a shot. Paradox: Now I'm going to leave this time-line... for no weason. Ahaha! Ahahahaha! Ahaha! Ahahahaha! Yusei: I totally won that duel. Jaden: We weren't even dueling. Yusei: Duh! Because I won. Part 2 of 3 Yusei: My God. The city has been absolutely devastated. Jaden: Yeah! And he took my Elemental Hero Neos trading card. Yusei: This guy has got to pay! For the people of Venice! And my friends. Jaden: And my favorite trading card. Yusei: Who the hell are you and what's wrong with your hair? Jaden: My name's Jaden Yuki and I'm absolutely flawless! (Absolutely Flawless plays) Yusei: Stop being happy. Jaden: Ain't nobody in the world as fly as me! Yusei: I'm serious. Stop it. Jaden: Bitches just line up to get a glimpse of my sweet moves. Yusei: I'm going to tear the happy right out of your soul. Jaden: Come on homie! Don't be a playa hater! Yusei: I'm not a player hater. I just hate you. Jaden: So what's your name? Yusei: Yusei Fudo. I come from a post apocalyptic world where people struggle to survive. I grew up on the streets an orphan. Alone, if it weren't for my friends. I have nothing except my bike and my deck. Jaden: Sounds pretty tight dog. Me? I come from a kick-ass school that teaches how to play card games. We sleep on warm comfortable beds and get served food whenever we want. (pleasent sigh) It's a good life. Yusei: Well just look at all the f**ks I give. Jaden: So, you're from the future? Yusei: Yes. You probaly have a lot of questions for me but I can't tell you anything. If I were to tell you about the future it would be...dangerous. Jaden: Dangerous? Why? Yusei: Life as we know it would cease to exist. We would be cast into a world where time and space have no meaning. In short, I can't give you any spoilers. Jaden: I have a question! Yusei: I told you, I can't tell you anything. Jaden: This isn't a spoiler. Yusei: Okay. Jaden: Can I ride your bike? Yusei: I already told you, no. Jaden: Oh come on! It'll be fun! Yusei: I'll let you ride my bike if you can tell me one thing. Jaden: Sure. Ask away. Yusei: Why are we in Venice? Jaden: F**k it! You win. Yusei: Always do. Yubel: Jaden! This man called your mother fat. I farted on him. He doesn't know yet. Banner: Hello! I am extremely Asian! Jaden: (whispers) Yusei. Yusei: What? Jaden: (whispers) I see dead people. Yusei: I'm going to begin shunning you for the rest of the movie. Now make yourself useful and open the Internet. Jaden: I think you'll find that everything on the Internet is completely- oh my God! Yusei: Is that woman doing what I think she is doing? Jaden: I forgot I bookmarked 2 Dark Magician Girls 1 Pot of Greed. I'll just go to www.plotconvinience.com and- oh my God! It says our shows never existed! But that would mean- (buildings start collapsing) Jaden: We have to get out of here. If only we had a motorbike- Yusei: You're not riding my damn bike. (Domino City: Present Day) Solomon: Ah! What's going on? Are we being bombed? Is America invading us again? I knew it was only a matter of time! Yugi: Calm down Grandpa. It's just the fireworks. Solomon: Yugi! Fetch me my gun! Announcer 1: Welcome everyone, to the grand unveiling of a bunch of lame new trading cards. Here to introduce our host, Pirate Hitler. Announcer 2: I shall send ze Jews straight to Davy Jones' locker! Hail Blackbeard! Yugi: I love Pirate Hitler. He always makes me laugh. Announcer 3: And now. Without further ado. Ladies and gentlemen. Maximillion Pegasus! Pegasus: Welcome all you foolish nerds! To the gayest spectacle in the world! I'm making a cameo in this movie! I'm much more fabulous in 3D. (laughs) Yugi: Oh hey grandpa it's that guy who kidnapped your soul then tried to kill me. But now he's our friend. Paradox: Well. Well. Well. If it isn't my old friend, Pwotagonist. Yugi: Hm. I wonder what time it is. Huh? Solomon: Oh! The Americans are invading us with dragons! Just like back in 1945. Yugi: We have to get to safety. Grandpa, follow me! Solomon: Whee! (runs off) Yugi: Wait, Grandpa! Where are you going? Solomon: Death to America! (face-up face-down plays) Pegasus: Wait! Come back! You can buy my song on CD! Oh that building doesn't look to safe- Oh nooooo! Oh looks like I'm face-down. Just a typical Friday night for Maximillion Pegasus. (laughs) I'm dead. Yugi: (groans) Huh? What the hell happened? Grandpa? Grandpa? (gasp) No! It finally happened. He finally went to that great big basement in the sky. It's so ironic. He always loved falling buildings but only when they were falling on other people. (sobs) Grandpa! (echos) Can I have my Oscar now? Paradox: Hahaha! Hahahahaha! Once again Pwotagonist, you see there is nothing you possess that I cannot take- Yugi: Hey f**k you man! I'm trying to win an Oscar here. Crimson Dragon: Atreyu! I am here to comfort you in your grief. Yugi: Well at least I retained my dignity. Woah! Jaden: Woah! I thought you said you wern't going to let me ride it. Yusei: Everybody gets one. Yugi: God! My head hasn't hurt this bad since I watched the Naruto Abridged Movie. Jaden: Hey man. You okay? Yusei: Yeah. And what's wrong with your hair? Yugi: Who are you people? Yusei: We're from the future. I'm Yusei Fudo. I'm the serious one with a voice that makes the fangirls swoon. Jaden: And I'm Jaden Yuki! The cute hyperactive one that people want to choke in his sleep. Yugi: I'm Yugi Muto. And I was playing card games before it was cool. Wait a minute. If you guys are from the future then tell me, will I ever get laid? Jaden: Well actually now that you mention it- Yusei: Jaden no! We can't tell him anything. If we do the fabric of space and time could- Yugi: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Look are you guys going to give me spoilers or not? Yusei: No! Yugi: Oh come on! At least tell me if I beat Jaden in the final episode of GX. Yusei: Well duh. Jaden: Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah. What? Yusei: It's not a spoiler if it's obvious. Jaden: Check it out dawgs, my Neos card came back! It must be because we came back in time. Yusei: That is now how time travel works. Jaden: Well how else do you explain it? Yusei: Obviously this movie had its head up its own anus. Yugi: Well that answers pretty much every question I had. Yusei: We've come back to the past to save the world from the evil known as Paradox. Yugi: What does he want? Yusei: We don't know, but he seems to be trying to turn our rarest cards into darker more corrupted monsters. Jaden: Yeah! And for some reason he hates Venice. Yugi: That bastard! I can't forgive him. Not after he sent my grandpa to the Shadow Realm. Yusei: The what realm? Yugi: You know. The Shadow Realm. The big purpley cloudy place that you go to when something really bad happens to you. Jaden: I think you're talking about Hell. Yugi: No it's the Shadow Realm. You know whenever people fall from a really tall building..or..they get stabbed in the chest. They go straight to the Shadow Realm. What? You guys don't have the Shadow Realm in the future? Yusei: I don't think that's a real thing. Yugi: So wait. Is my Grandpa... really dead? Jaden: 'fraid so brosif. Yugi: I thought this was suppose to be a kids' movie! Yusei: Yugi. We can't defeat Paradox alone. Well. I mean I probably can. But Jaden definitely can't. Jaden: That's cold dawg! Yusei: Yugo Muto. Will you do us the honor of joining us in our quest? Yugi: You bet I'm in. No one f**ks with my favorite trading card game and gets away with it. Yusei: Then our threesome is complete. Jaden: Aw Yeah! Looks like we chilling with the king of games bitches! This s**t be ballin'. Yugi: What? Yusei: He said he's happy to have you on board. Yugi: Oh. It looks like the Crimson Dragon has taken us back to before Pegasus was killed. Now all we need to do is create a distraction. Marik: Greeting fools it is I! Marik Ishtar! And I am here to enslave all of you with my- (gets shot) Ah! Yugi: Nice shot Jaden! Yusei: Yeah. Way to endanger innocent lives. Jaden: Don't thank me. Thank Yubel! Yusei: Who's Yubel? Jaden: The demon who lives inside my head. Yusei: Wonderful. Paradox: Hahaha! Hahahahaha! Hahaha! Hahahahaha! We meet again, Pwotagonists. Yusei: Alright Paradox it's time you showed us who you really are. Take off that damn mask! (dramatic music as Paradox removes his mask) Yugi: Oh my God it's him! Yusei: I can't beleive it! Jaden: Damn! I totally didn't see that coming! Yugi: Okay, so does anybody actually know this guy? Yusei: Nope. Jaden: Never met him. Paradox: Of course you don't know who I am. I'm fwom the future. Yusei: So why were you wearing a mask? Paradox: What? Yusei: You had a mask on. Paradox: No I did not. Yusei: Yes you did. Paradox: Did not. Yusei: You completely, totally did! Paradox: Look it makes my chawacter design wook intewesting. What do you want fwom me? Yugi: (not noticing the huge clock in the middle of the square) For the love of God does anyone know what time it is? Paradox: I know exactly what time it is. It is time to dododo. Dododododo. Dododo. Dododododuel. Yusei: Let's do this guys! For our friends! Jaden: And Venice! Yusei: Yes! And for Venice! Yugi: And my Grandpa. Yusei: Yes! And for your dead Grandpa! But mostly for our friends! Jaden: (eyes change colors) Ah! Desu desu bitches! Yusei: (Signer mark appears) Alright you time traveling screwhead listen up! This is my signer mark! Yami Yugi: Hey Yugi. (whispers) Yugi: Pharaoh! That's dirty! Yugi and Yami Yugi: Super special awsome ultra special super sexy transformation sequence! In 3D! Yami Yugi: We're back baby! Yami Yugi, Jaden, and Yusei: Duel! Banner: Good luck everyone. I will be up here if you need an Asian guy. I'm Asian. Part 3 of 3 Paradox: Very well Yu-Gi-Oh Pwotagonists! Let's see how you like things, in the Mawific World. Jaden: Actually this isn't so bad! Yusei: Yeah. It's actually kind of pretty here. Yami Yugi: Makes a nice change from the Shadow Realm, that's for sure. Paradox: Stop that! It is suppose to be thweatening! Yami Yugi: Look at all the pretty lights! Paradox: Stop being impwessed by the Mawific World! Yusei: Paradox! You've got some explaining to do! Jaden: Yeah! Like why the hell were you in Venice? Yusei: Look. This isn't important. Jaden: I disagree! Yusei: Shut up. Paradox! Why are you trying to destroy the world? Paradox: You stupid Pwotagonist! I am not trying to destwoy the wowld. I am twying to save it. Yusei: Not if we can stop you- Wait. What? Paradox: In the future the world as we know it has been destwoyed. Humanity's ignorance has caused the planet to become wavaged and wifeless. Yami Yugi: Wavaged and wifeless? Jaden: But how? Was it global warming? Yusei: Nuclear war? Paradox: No. None of those things happened. What destwoyed the world was...card games! Yusei: What? Paradox: That is wight. Card games. Yusei: You're serious? Paradox: Yes. Vewy. Yusei: How? Paradox: What? Yusei: How did card games destroy the world? Paradox: Well. I was not actually there. But I heard that somebody pwayed a card game. And then boom! End of the world. It totally happened. Just like I said. Just card game- Boom! Evewyone dead. Jaden: Okay. But how does stealing cards and killing people make everything better? Paradox: Look, I pwanned this. Jaden: So explain it! Yusei: Yeah! Explain your great plan! Paradox: All I had to do was invent time twavel. And then go back in time. And kill Pegasus. And then the future would be better. That's it. Yami Yugi: You also killed Yugi's Grandpa. Paradox: Yeah, and Yugi's Grandpa. I totally meant to do that too. My plan is great. Yusei: Also alot of innocent people died. Paradox: Yes there was a little cowwateral damage. Probably not important. My plan is great. Jaden: Then why are you riding around on a motercyle wearing an evil mask stealing people's cards and laughing like a maniac? Does that sound like a hero? Paradox: Well when you put it like that not weally. But uh... Jaden: Then what the hell man?! What the actual hell?! Paradox: Listen! Either I destwoy the card game or the world itself is destwoyed. It is as simple as that. Yami Yugi: Hm. The entire world or card games. Tough choice. Yusei: There is no choice. Without card games, this world isn't worth living in. Yami Yugi: You're right Yusei. You always were my favorite protagonist. Yusei: Right back at you, Yugi. It feels so good to know you'll be playing with me. (music) No homo! Yami Yugi: Uh. Yes! No homo indeed. Paradox: Pwotagonists! I challenge you to a card game! Yusei: You mean the thing that's going to destroy the world? Paradox: Yes! That. Yusei: Seems kind of hypocritical. Yami Yugi: Yes and how is this even going to work? There's three of us against one of you. Paradox: It is simple. First Yusei goes and then I go Then Jaden goes then I go- Yami Yugi: Wait. Paradox: -then Yugi goes and then I go. Sounds fair wight? Yami Yugi: You've got to be kidding! That means we each get one turn per round and you get like uh a gajillion! Paradox: I'm glad you understand. Yami Yugi: Oh come on. But nobody in their right mind would agree something like that- Jaden: You're on Paradox! We're going to take you down! Yami Yugi: Oh God no. Yusei: Jaden. Jaden: 'sup? Yusei: If we survive this I'm going to go back in time and I'm going to slap myself in the face for bringing you on this adventure. Yami Yugi: Can I come? Yusei: You can ride with me anytime Yugi. (music) No homo! Yami Yugi: Yes! I was just about to say... uh... no homo. Paradox: I summon the Mawefic Cyber End Dwagon! Yami Yugi: Now Yusei. I should point out that this card game is not going to take place on a motorcycle. I hope you understand that. I don't want you like trying to ride your duel disk or something. We're just going to stand with our feet planted firmly on the ground. Yusei: I know how to duel! Yami Yugi: Well okay then. Yusei: I Synchro Summon Junk Gardna in Defense Mode. Yami Yugi: Synchro what? Yusei: Synchro Summon. Yami Yugi: What summon? Yusei: Synchro Summon. Yami Yugi: What what? Yusei: Synchro Summon. Yami Yugi: Oh! What's that? Yusei: It's where you play a monster- Yami Yugi: Wait. I seem to have stopped caring. Paradox: That was a nice Synchwo Summon Yusei. Yami Yugi: Synchro what? Paradox: But I'm afwaid not nice enough. Now I summon Mawefic Wainbow Dwagon! Jaden: Hey! No fair Paradox! That's my best friend's card! Yusei: Seriously? You have friends? Jaden: Yes! Yami Yugi: You mean ones that aren't invisible? Jaden: Oh. Right. Look who's talking. Banner: You tell him Jaden. I'm still very Asian by the way. Jaden: Free style time! Yusei: Oh please tell me he's not going to rap. Jaden: Paradox man I just want to let you know, ain't no way you're going to take away our card game, Yu-Gi-Oh! I'm going to use a Spell Card to bring out my man Neos. Look slice your Cyber End Dragon is about to beat ya. What's that? Come again? I got a second move. Looks like Jaden F'in Yuki has alot to prove. Take down his Rainbow Dragon before he start morning I'm going to lay these cards down right in the Trap Zone. Yami Yugi: Good job Jaden! Way to get your lame on! Jaden: Actually it's get your game on- Yami Yugi: I know what it is. Paradox: Mawefic Pawadox Dwagon! Come forth! Yami Yugi: Holy Ra! I've seen a lot of dragons in my time but that one takes the cake! Jaden: And he probably ate it too! Yami Yugi: Shut up Jaden! You're not funny. So stand back ya'll because it's time for a real main character to take the field. Paradox: Oh pwease! You may be the King of Games in your timeline but where I come from Duel Monsters have evolve far beyond your understanding. Compared to me you are just a learner. Yami Yugi: That may be the case in your timeline Paradox. But then we're not in your timeline, are we? Paradox: Um- Yami Yugi: And where I come from Duel Monsters is still a broken exploitable mess of a game. And I'm about to exploit the Hell out of it. I summon the Dark Magician and Dark Magician with boobies. Dark Magician Girl: Hey, Dark Magician. How come we can talk in this movie? Dark Magician: A wizard did it. Yami Yugi: Dark Magician and Dark Magician with big boobies use Dark Magic Twin Burst to destroy Malefic Paradox Dragon! Jaden: Ah yeah! Pimp slap like a mofo! Banner: I am so happy to be Asian today, you guys! Yami Yugi: I believe the appropriate phrase is a-booyah. Yusei: Let's see you recover from that Paradox! Paradox: I will do more then that Pwotagonists! Watch as I summon my Mawefic Twuth Dwagon! Yahaha! Hahahahaha! Banner: I've never felt so Asian! Pilot: Mr. Pegasus. We appear to be flying right into a storm. Pegasus: Well why don't you just turn around then? Pilot: I'm afraid I never finished my helicopter pilot training. I only know how to fly forwards. Pegasus: Well then at least have the decency to turn the music up. Jaden: Ah s**t dawg! I've seen a lot of dragons in my time, but that behemoth definately takes the cake. Yusei: And probaly ate it too. Yami Yugi: (laughs) A dragon eating a cake! Yusei, you're so funny. Jaden: Oh come on! That's the same joke I used from before. Yami Yugi: Yes, but Yusei told it better. Paradox: Oh, I wish my gweat-gweat gwandfather Dartz was here to see me do this. He would be so pwoud of me. Yami Yugi: Gentlemen. If we don't make it through this I want you do know it's been an honor playing card games with you. Even you Jaden. Jaden: Ballin'! Yusei: You can be my wingman anytime Yugi. Yami Yugi: No Yusei, you can be mine. (music) Yusei: No homo right? Yami Yugi: All of the homo! Paradox: Mawefic Twuth Dwagon lay waste to their monsters and change the future! I am wictowious! Yusei: (singing) There's just no way that we can win. His cards are epic beasts. He duels too well because he's from another time. Yami Yugi: (singing) Listen both of you! He's gonna to rewrite history. He's gonna to wipe out our card games. Jaden: Never! Yami Yugi: Unless we break his massive monster into pieces. Jaden: (singing) Homies. We've been through so much stuff. Yusei: I had to hear Jaden rapping. Yami Yugi: That was rough. Yami Yugi, Jaden, and Yusei: Now it's time to take this sucker down. Jaden: Come on guys now it's time to blow doors down. Yusei: I hear you Jaden now it's time to blow doors down. Jaden: So make your move cuz' I'm throwing a face-down. Yami Yugi: Okay just make sure you don't summon a gay clown. Yami Yugi, Jaden, and Yusei: Now we've got to take this sucker down. Yami Yugi: My hairy balls will make sure he won't take us down. Kuriboh: Dodolalalalalalalala. Paradox: No this can't be happening. How do I get them down? Jaden: We're going to beat ya! Oh Paradox! No doubt about it! Our card game rocks! Yusei: As far as villains go. In anime. I hate to tell you. You're just cliché. Yami Yugi: That's right you messed with. The wrong show. We're not just anyone. We're Yu-Gi-Oh! Yami Yugi, Jaden, and Yusei: We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! We're Yu-Gi-Oh! Paradox: No no no! No no no no no! No no no! No no no no noooo! Yami Yugi: Huh. I think we may have just killed a man. Yusei: If anyone asks, Jaden did it. Jaden: (laughs) yeah! Wait. What? Yami Yugi: (narrating) Meanwhile, thousands of miles away. Pegasus: Ooh! So many restraining orders just waiting to happen. Yusei: We defeated Paradox. But at what cost? Jaden: At least we still have card games. Yami Yugi: Who knows whether we made the right choice. However the most important thing is that I totally won that duel. Jaden: What? Hey! No. I won the duel. Yami Yugi: I think you'll find it was me. Jaden: Was not! Yusei: You're both wrong. Yami Yugi: If I were wrong I would be saying you won the duel but I'm not because I did. Yusei: It doesn't matter who won. The important thing is, we can keep on winning as friends. Jaden: That's right. Even though we may never see eachother again we'll always be in eachother's hearts. Yami Yugi: And I totally won that duel. Yusei: We all won the duel. Yami Yugi: Nope. Me. I did it. Yusei: Enough! All that matters is we managed to get through all of this without disrupting the space time contiunuum. Jaden: Yeah! Even though I nearly told Yugi that the Pharoh dies at the end of his series. Yami Yugi: What's that now? (in subspace) Well. This is just fan-tucking-fastic. Now we're stuck in subspace. Way to go Jaden. Jaden: It's not my fault! I thought spoilers were okay. It's been like, ten years! Yusei: This really could not get much worse. Yuma: Hey guys! This subspace thing is pretty extreme huh! Talk about pop-flyin'! Get set to get deck motherf**kers. Yeah! Yusei: What's wrong with his hair? & Directed by LittleKuriboh as Jaden Yuki as Yugi Moto Starriing Kirbopher as Crow Hogan & Yuma Tsukumo as Himself as Aki Izayoi Flannigan as Yubel as Announcer #1 Flannigan as Announcer#2 else was probaly voiced by LittleKuriboh Juicey Flannigan Sequence Art by The Amazing Rinbo Mixed by ShadyVox Um... ran out of people to credit... guess I'll just start thanking everyone Thanks to TeamFourStar The cast of Wha-Chow Juicey Flannigan Thanks to The Rower All my Cheerleader Squids Konami Kazuki Takahashi Thanks to azurada3 Sephrex Sehanort wraith10 Thanks to PlayTheDamnCard All Yu-Gi-Oh Fans Everywhere But especially ... you! Um... are some long ass credits music, though. hey, I actually do know how synchro-summoning works! you have a [[tuner monster], and then...] ... seem to have stopped caring. sure Juicey Flannigan would be able to explain it. Flannigan's totally a real person, by the way. even have a Facebook page. http://www.facebook.com/SaintFlannigan do you like that, TeamFourStar? guys got Kyle Hebert? got Juicey Flannigan. in your court, guys. Juicey. Flannigan. no substitutes. you know what? should probably thank my family too. you guys. anyway, back to Juicey Flannigan... still there? Huh. I have an idea. watch the movie again. this tune, we'll do the official BBT Abridged Drinking Game! time there's a plot hole, take a drink. luck. :) fine. the real drinking game. time Yusei slips into a Canadian accent, take a drink. Check out 30:58. "Withoot" love bloopers. eh? games on mooses! seriously, do you guys have any liquor? been editing this thing for three months. time to celebrate. party! guest of honor at my party? Flannigan. Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From The Future: And that is the story of how Jaden Yugi and Yusei saved the world. Kaiba: So why wasn't I in the movie? Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From The Future: What movie? Kaiba: The one you just described to me. Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From The Future: Oh. Right. Um. You were not in the movie because you were never born. Kaiba: Yeah. Because I'm a robot right? Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From The Future: No. As it turns out you do have a father. And it's me! Kaiba: Yeah. You're full of crap. Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From The Future: I love you too son. References Category:Abridged Transcripts *Paradox's laugh is the same as Mandark's from "Dexter's Laboratory" *When Jaden Yuki pull up the internet he was watching "two Dark Magician Girls one Pot of Greed" this is referring to the video "Two Girls One Cup" *When Solomon Muto says "the Americans are attacking with us with Dragons again" he is referring to the bombing of Hirshima and Nagasaki.